Relationships take work. If you’ve been in a relationship of any sort for a significant amount of time you know, there’s truth in the oft-repeated line,
Relationships Take Work
Of course, going into it you have no idea what that means. So, we end up nodding our head and diving right in.
Even with two people who are good communicators, open and honest, you have to do the work.
Anything worth putting your time and energy into is going to take more than you initially think.
When I was young and about to purchase my first house, one of the best pieces of advice I received was about what happens after you’re correct.
All of the calculations for what we could afford, to how much to put down.
From the time and attention of where we wanted to be and what we wanted to have, it all fell short of reality.
The advice I received was to be sure we had enough set aside to handle something going wrong.
It was sound advice. I’m not saying I followed it, but it was sound advice because it always takes more than you think.
I recently talked with someone who started a new business.
He did everything well. He connected with the right people, studied the numbers, and laid out a great plan.
That said, the reality of owning versus being an employee is turning out to be harder than he anticipated.
It’s not a problem. He’ll be fine. It’s just his reality.
Any endeavour worth pursuing is usually harder than we expect.
Not many people finish a marathon and say, that was easier than I thought.
People running a new business rarely say things like, you know, I anticipated precisely how much time this would take me away from my family.
And when you buy your first house, you don’t think the furnace will go, or the septic will stop working.
I don’t care how much you plan, how much you like to hustle, grind, or crush things, something has to give and it’s usually more than you think.
I had another conversation this week. This person isn’t a planner. She owns this fact.
It’s not as though she doesn’t endeavour to be better about it, but most of the time she just does what she needs to.
She’s smart. She works hard. She knows her stuff, and she knows that no matter what happens, it all works out.
Having one thing not work out isn’t the end of the world for her. This attitude keeps her relatively stress-free. And you know what, she’s right.
The problems with the new house, they worked out.
Heck, I’ve lost a job, a good job. That wasn’t something I planned. But it worked out.
We get ourselves pretty worked up about all sorts of things. Unanticipated twists and turns in relationships and business throw us for a loop because it is harder than we thought it would be.
But in the end, we make it work. Maybe not exactly as intended, but we do make it work.
In some ways, these two truths seem in conflict. The idea that it takes more than you think and it all works out doesn’t correctly line up.
So this means I’ve got to plan better to anticipate the unexpected because it takes more than I think and not worry because it will all work out?
Exactly. And in all cases, you have to do the work.
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