Prohibitions and restrictions all the way. Before entering the city park, I carefully read a sign on which was written,
Violations of the prohibitions on the prohibition signs of the park are prohibited.
In full consciousness of my infallibility, I then walked on the big green island in the middle of the city centre. No sooner was I standing on the island than I saw a sign with the inscription,
Stepping on the lawn is forbidden!
Very reasonable, I thought to myself, what tortures would the dainty halms of grass endure if they were ruthlessly booted to the ground. For the actions of those who had violated this prohibition to be finally stopped, a distant standing sign forbade the picking of flowers. I thought that was fitting too, because how colourless the park would look if every lover would break flowers for their sweetheart.
To show the charm of the city park in other ways, a prohibition sign forbidding, a few meters further, the contamination of surfaces. To do the same for the benches, I soon read,
Sprinkling the park benches with spit is forbidden!
With a heightened sense of well-being, I moved on. Satisfied I let my wander look, pardon, look wander. It also penetrated into the denser shrubbery right of the path. I saw a person who got rid of its bladder content at the trunk of an oak tree. Since the person did that standing, it was undoubtedly a man. Irritated, I confronted him pointing to an adjacent sign. Since he was unable to read due to high levels of alcohol, I read it to him,
Relieving oneself in liquid or solid form, prohibited in or on park property!
He grinned witlessly and stumbled away. Two lust-strolling ladies, screaming, expressed their horror at the man’s unzipped fly and the jewels hanging from it. I found myself obliged to draw their attention to the text of a sign, which they shy, and blushing read,
The singing desire of the birds through disturbing shouts or screams is forbidden!
From afar I heard the clatter of a stork. It was the bird commissioned by the City Council for the free delivery of babies, who had settled in the vicinity of the park pond inhabited by frogs. To this measure, the City Council saw itself forced because of the continuous strike of the post office. The ladies understood the call of the baby bringer and hurried to get close to him. Maybe they wanted to place an order.
Smiling, I steered my steps towards the Temple of Venus, a round copper-roof spattered with green spots, on which scrap thieves had not yet laid hands. That’s because they were forbidden by a sign that read,
Removing the copper roof, even in sections, strictly prohibited!
I passed through the temple with the wish that Venus, no matter what hair colour and bosom, would appear to me once.
She appeared in the guise of a uniformed park attendant who had long since passed the unnamed age of a woman. She asked me if I had already had lewd thoughts in this place of moral abstinence. To emphasise the importance of her person, she turned over a cardboard sign on her underdeveloped chest, and I read
Violent touching or questioning of the person responsible for complying with the parking prohibitions is prohibited!
I turned away from her, who would not have had any fear of contact even without this sign.
Impressed by the prohibition variety, I left the Temple of Venus and went to the exit of the park. It too had been draped with a sign. It gave the visitor leaving the park a liberating feeling with the following words,
The strict compliance with the park rules was not forbidden! We thank you for, the relaxed stay in the park and, leaving!
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